How to sort out child arrangements

Summary

Separating from your partner and need to sort how you look after your children in the future? Find ways to agree child arrangements after separation that work well for everybody especially your children, without going to court. People often still call these arrangements child custody, shared custody, residence and child contact, even though that isn’t what the law calls them anymore. Our expert guide covers what you need to sort out, mediation, parenting plans, common problems and what to do if you cannot agree. This guide is about the law in England and Wales only. 1 Getting started 2 Separating 3 What do you need to sort out? 4 How will you both pay for all the things they need? 5 What does the law say? 6 How do you sort things out? 7 What to do when you have reached an agreement 8 What can you do if you don't agree? 9 What can you do if your ex wants to change the arrangements? 10 Reasons to avoid court if you can 11 If you have to go to court 12 Making your new arrangements work for you 13 Common problems - your child says they want to live with their other parent 14 Common problems - your child lives with the other parent and now says they want to come to live with you 15.

Key information

• •Separating from your partner and need to sort how you look after your children in the future? Find ways to agree child arrangements after separation that work well for everybody especially your children, without going to court. People often still call these arrangements child custody, shared custody, residence and child contact, even though that isn’t what the law calls them anymore. Our expert guide covers what you need to sort out, mediation, parenting plans, common problems and what to do if you cannot agree.
• •1 Getting started 2 Separating 3 What do you need to sort out? 4 How will you both pay for all the things they need? 5 What does the law say? 6 How do you sort things out? 7 What to do when you have reached an agreement 8 What can you do if you don't agree? 9 What can you do if your ex wants to change the arrangements? 10 Reasons to avoid court if you can 11 If you have to go to court 12 Making your new arrangements work for you 13 Common problems - your child says they want to live with their other parent 14 Common problems - your child lives with the other parent and now says they want to come to live with you 15 Common problems - your child lives with you and doesn’t want to go and see their other parent 16 Common problems - your child doesn’t want to come to see you 17 Common Problems - the other parent is blocking you from seeing your children 18 Common problems - the other parent won’t see them 19 Common problems - the other parent plans to move... 20 Child arrangements - FAQs 21 More help and advice on child arrangements 22 What does it mean? 23 About this guide
• •This guide will help if you are separating from your children’s other parent and are having to make new arrangements for the first time, or if you have been parenting apart for years but now need to come up with a new plan.
• •If you are a grandparent and are worried about seeing your grandchildren, this guide is not for you - go to the More help and advice section at the end of this guide instead.
• •1. Even though you are probably going through a really hard time, it is essential to put your children first by listening to them and working out what is right for them, not what might feel fair to you as a parent. 2. If it is safe, find ways to communicate with ex that don’t involve the children. It’s really important to protect your children from any arguments or criticism of their other parent. 3. It takes time to sort things out. If you are just in the process of splitting up, sorting everything out may feel impossible. When you are feeling hurt and angry, it can be very hard to imagine a future that feels OK. It won’t come right overnight, but you will get there. 4. As long as it is safe to do so, do your very best to avoid court. Try the options we explain in the guide first. 5. Get help and advice where you can – this guide takes you through the things you need to know and suggests other places to get help.
• •We have teamed up with Resolution to provide a panel of family law solicitors that can help you at the most important points of the process for a low, fixed-fee. Look out for the 'Get affordable advice' boxes as you go through the guide.

Practical guidance

• •Source: [How to sort out child arrangements](https://www.advicenow.org.uk/get-help/family-and-children/child-arrangements/sorting-out-child-arrangements)

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