What to do before you apply to the family court about your children

Summary

If you are thinking about applying for a child arrangements order without a lawyer there are things you need to do first. Our guide explains what you need to do, how to reach an agreement, how to avoid delays and avoid the risk of court orders being made against you. This guide is for England and Wales only. 1 Why its usually better for you and your children to reach an agreement 2 When do you need to follow the process? 3 The process you need to follow – a checklist 4 Step 1 - Mediation information and assessment meetings (MIAMs) 5 Step 2 - Non-court methods of reaching an agreement with your ex 6 Step 3 - keep the court up to date about your efforts to sort out your disagreement 7 Other things you can do to help your family 8 What happens if you do not follow the process? 9 More help and advice 10 What does it mean? 11 About this guide 1. If it is safe for everyone in your family, you are expected to try to come to an agreement as this is usually much better for your children. If you cannot reach agreement, you cannot just go straight to court for an order. Instead, the court expects you to try other ways to resolve your disagreement – this is known as ‘non-court dispute.

Key information

• •a process called the ‘collaborative law approach’ where you both have solicitors and come together in the same room to negotiate and reach agreement,
• •neutral evaluation where a single experienced family lawyer gives their opinion on how the court would decide what should happen in your dispute, or
• •arbitration (like having a private judge).
• •Mediation can be cheaper than instructing a solicitor and can even be free if you can get legal aid or help through the voucher scheme.
• •It is usually far quicker and less stressful than going to court.
• •It helps to reduce conflict between you which is better for you and most importantly better for your children.
• •It may not be appropriate where there are issues around domestic abuse or risk of harm to you or the children or other issues such as substance misuse or mental health problems that could get in the way of productive conversations.
• •If your ex refuses to mediate and the problems continue, you will have to apply to court.
• •Everyone focuses on working hard to get the best outcome for your children.
• •You avoid court and so the process is usually far quicker and less stressful.
• •The focus is on the future and coming to a compromise which helps reduce conflict.
• •It is likely to be more expensive than mediation as you both have to pay for solicitors who are trained in this approach, and you need to pay them beforehand so they can be well prepared for the meetings you have together.

Practical guidance

• •Source: [What to do before you apply to the family court about your children](https://www.advicenow.org.uk/get-help/family-and-children/child-arrangements/what-do-you-apply-family-court-about-your-children)

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